Below
you will find several articles relating to the concept of Friendship
in Islam.By Br. Isa Al-Bosnee
Humans have
always been social creatures and in need of friends and companions.
Much of our lives is spent in interaction with others. For us Muslims
who are living in a society where we are clearly a minority, the
issue of choosing the right companions is essential for preserving
our Deen. Befriending righteous and virtuous Muslims is an essential
means for staying on the Straight Path. Strong individuals, on the
other hand, are the core of a strong community, something that Muslims
should always strive for.We all know
that we were created for a specific purpose and that Allah the Most
High has given us life in order to test us. None of us will deny
that we are here for a relatively short period of time and that
we shall meet Allah (swt) one Day. Once we know our purpose and
our goal, we should seek ways to achieve them so as to benefit our
own selves. All of us believe that Allah has sent us a Messenger
(saws) and revealed to us the Qur’an, the Best Speech.In an authentic
Hadith, the Prophet Muhammad (saws) said: “A person is likely to
follow the faith of his friend, so look whom you befriend.” (1).
The person most
noble in character and dealings with fellow humans gave us a very
clear message and advice in regard to friendship. We should choose
the friend that is satisfied with our Deen and avoid the friend
that is displeased with it. Whoever we see and are pleased with
his Deen, we should befriend him and whoever we are displeased with
his Deen and his manners, we ought to avoid him. There is no good
in the companion who does not wish for us (from good) what he wishes
for himself. There is also no good in the companion who wishes for
us what he wishes for himself, if what he likes for his own soul
is leading him towards destruction and Hellfire.The bases for
the actions of those who follow the evil ways are corrupt; their
actions are built upon misguidance and deviation. Their deeds are
worthless to them as Allah (swt) said: “And We will proceed to what
they have done of deeds, so We shall render them to scattered floating
dust.” Qur’an 25:23Their actions,
even if we regard them as righteous and noble are of no value to
them, so how can they be of benefit to us? Friends are those who
feel for their companions, in both happy and sad moments. If we
share our feelings with the wrong-doers whose actions are worthless
and based on corruption, then we are following the same ways and
standards as they are. Affection which results from that friendship
leads to love and closeness to other than the righteous believers,
and this may even lead to avoiding those who are on the Straight
Way. Mixing with followers of any way other than that of the Guidance
also results in a change in one’s behavior, morals and conduct.
If we agree,
follow and are pleased with such friends, then we inherit their
habits, behaviors and even religion. Such a Muslim would find himself
in a situation wherein he is willing to hide his Islam in front
of those who despise it (those that he considers as friends) and
to separate from the believers. When this situation occurs, a point
is reached when there is a very slight difference between the Muslim
and his wrong-doing companion. Such a companionship is the root
of sickness of one’s heart and loss of one’s Deen.Instead of making
friends with the misguided ones we should befriend the righteous
and treat the rest in a gracious and just manner. Staying at sufficient
distance is necessary, yet treating everybody in a noble and kind
manner is required.In another Hadith,
Prophet Muhammad (saws) said: “The example of a good companion and
a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one
who blows the blacksmith’s bellows.. So as for the seller of musk
then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or
at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who
blows the blacksmith’s bellows then either he will burn your clothes
or you will get an offensive smell from him.” (2)In his commentary
of this Hadith, Imam an-Nawawy said that the Prophet (saws) compared
a good companion to a seller of musk and spoke of the virtue of
having companions who are good, who have noble manners, piety, knowledge
and good culture. Such are those who grant us from their virtue.
And he (saws) forbade us to sit with those who do evil, commit a
lot of sins and other bad deeds, as well as with innovators, backbiters,
and so forth. Another scholar said: “keeping good company with the
pious results in attainment of beneficial knowledge, noble manners
and righteous actions, whereas keeping company with the wicked prevents
all of that.” Many times a Muslim is encouraged by his friends to
do evil and to forget his duties. The result is that Muslims themselves
are often ashamed to leave them to perform prayer, their friends
thus causing them to clearly deviate from the Right Path.Allah the Exalted
says in the Qur’an: “And (remember) the Day when the wrong-doer
will bite his hands and say: Woe to me! Would that I had taken a
path with the Messenger. Woe to me! If only I had not taken so-
and-so as a friend! He has led me astray from this Reminder (the
Qur’an) after it had come to me. And Satan is ever a deserter to
man in the hour of need.” Qur’an 25:27-29So take heed
before the inevitable Day comes when we are called to account for
our actions.Allah, the All-Wise
also says: “Friends on that Day will be enemies one to another,
except al-Muttaqoon (i.e. those who have Taqwah).” Qur’an 43:67
Hafidh Ibn Katheer,
commenting on this verse, relates a story on the authority of Ali
Ibn Abi Talib (ra) and says that any friendship for other than Allah
is turned into enmity, except what was in it for Allah the Mighty
and Majestic: “Two who are friends for Allah’s sake; one of them
dies and is given good news that he will be granted al-Jannah, so
he remembered his friend and he supplicated for him, saying: ‘O
Allah, my friend used to command me to obey You and to obey Your
Prophet (saws) and used to command me to do good and to forbid me
from doing evil. And he told me that I will meet You. O Allah, do
not let him go astray after me, until you show him what you have
just shown me, until You are satisfied with him, just like You are
satisfied with me.’ So he is told: ‘Had you known what is (written)
for you friend, would you have laughed a lot and cried a little.’
Then his friend dies and their souls are gathered, and both are
asked to express their opinions about each other. So each one of
them says to his friend: ‘You were the best brother, the best companion
and the best friend.’ And when one of the two disbelieving friends
dies, and he is given tidings of Hellfire, he remembered his friend
and he said: ‘O Allah, my friend used to order me to disobey You
and disobey Your Prophet, and commanded me to do evil, and forbade
me from doing good, and told me that I would not meet You. O Allah,
do not guide him after me, until you show him what you have just
shown me and until you are dissatisfied with him just like You are
dissatisfied with me.’ Then the other disbelieving friend dies,
and their souls are gathered, and both are asked to give their opinions
about each other. So each one says to his friend: ‘You were the
worst brother, the worst companion and the worst friend.”That is the
end of those who do not have Taqwah and those who befriend for a
sake other than that of Allah the Exalted. Allah has surely spoken
the truth and we all should grasp what He has informed us of. It
is through the good company that Allah, the Most High, saves those
who are astray and guides the wicked. The benefit of mixing with
the righteous is immense, and it will, insha’Allah, be even more
obvious to us in the Hereafter. One of the early Muslims said that
it is from Allah’s blessings upon a youth when he turns to worship
that he is given brother who is a follower of the Sunnah encouraging
him upon it.Sealing a friendship
for Allah’s sake will result in one’s receiving protection of Allah
(swt). And as Ibn Abbas said: “No one may taste true faith except
by this (i.e. building relationships for Allah’s sake), even if
his prayers and fasts are many. People have come to build their
relationship around the concerns of the world, but it will not benefit
them in any way.” (3)A scholar has
said: “To seal a friendship for Allah’s sake indicates the obligation
of establishing relationships of love and trust for His sake; this
is a friendship for the sake of Allah. It also indicates that simple
affection is not enough here; indeed what is meant is a love based
upon alliance. This entails assistance, honor, and respect. It means
being with those whom you love both in word and deed.” Loyalty for
the sake of Allah really means to love Allah and to come to the
assistance of His Deen; to love those who are obedient to Him and
to come to their help. Moreover, the Shahadah “La Ilaha Illa Allah”
requires us to ally ourselves for the sake of Allah, and it requires
us to ally ourselves to the Muslims wherever we find them.In two other
authentic narration’s of the Prophet (saws) we were commanded to
keep company with a believer only (3), and told that a person will
be with those he loves (4). So if we love and associate ourselves
with those who are misguided, we should fear for our fate. The wise
person is the one who prepares himself for the Hereafter, not the
one who neglects his faith and falls into the trap of Satan who
tells him that he will be forgiven and that he can do whatever he
wishes. If we truly believe that the best speech is the Speech of
Allah and that he best guidance is the guidance of Prophet Muhammad
(saws), we should act in accordance with them, lest we build a proof
against ourselves.Ali (raa) said:
“Mix with the noble people, you become one of them; and keep away
from evil people to protect yourself from their evils.” (4)If we are truly
concerned about our fate, we must come to this realisation: those
who take us away from remembering Allah, from obeying Him and His
Prophet (saws), those who fail to remind us of our daily prayers
and those who do not give us sincere advice in regard to our Deen;
such are really our foes and not our friends. On the other side,
“a believer is the mirror of his brother” (5), and if he sees any
faults in the other believer, he draws his attention to it, helps
him to give it up and helps him wipe away any evil that he may have.
Ibn Hazm said:
“Anyone who criticises you cares about your friendship. Anyone who
makes light of your faults cares nothing about you.” (5)How can we expect
sincere advice and exhortation in regard to our religion from those
who are displeased with our Deen or are simply indifferent? Are
they going to help us achieve the purpose of our life, or will they
take us away from it? Will they desire for us Allah’s pleasure or
is that Completely irrelevant to them and not their concern at all?
Are they leading us to al-Jannah or to the Hellfire? These are the
questions we have to ask ourselves, lest we wake up after we die.
“O you who believe!
Take care of your own selves. If you follow the right guidance and
enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong no hurt can come to
you from those who are in error. The return of you all is to Allah,
then He will inform you about (all) that which you used to do.”
Qur’an 5:105We ask Allah
to make us of the righteous ones and give us companions that will
take us away from His Wrath and lead us to His Pleasure and Paradise.
References:
- 1 Abu Dawood
and at-Tirmithi- 2 Al-Bukhari
and Muslim- 3 Abu Dawood
and at-Tirmithi- 4 Al-Bukhari
and Muslim- 5 Abu Dawood,
Hasan Hadith
REMINDERS
FOR TAKING THE KUFAR AS FRIENDSAuthor Unknown
1. Befriending
and liking them. Allaah says interpretation of the meaning):You
will not find any people who believe in Allaah and the Last Day,
making friendship with those who oppose Allaah and His Messenger;
[al-Mujaadilah 58:22]2. Inclining
towards them, relying upon them and taking them as a support. Allaah
says interpretation of the meaning): And incline not towards those
who do wrong, lest the Fire should touch you[Hood 11:113]3. Helping and
supporting them against the Muslims. Allaah says (interpretation
of the meaning): The believers, men and women, are awliya (helpers,
supporters, friends, protectors) of one another [al-Tawbah 9:71].
He also says
of the kuffaar that they are but awliya(helpers, supporters, friends,
protectors) to one another [al-Maaidah 5:51]. And He says(interpretation
of the meaning): And if any amongst you takes them as awliya, then
surely he is one of them. [al-Maaidah 5:51].4. Bringing
their laws and rules to the Muslim countries. Allaah says(interpretation
of the meaning): Do they then seek the judgement of the Days of
Ignorance? [al-Maaidah 5:50]5. Taking them
as friends in general terms, taking them as helpers and supporters,
and throwing in ones lot with them. Allaah forbids all this, as
He says (interpretation of the meaning): O you who believe! Take
not the Jews and the Christians as awliya (friends, protectors,
helpers, etc.), they are but awliya to one another [al-Maaidah 5:51].
6. Compromising
with them and being nice to them at the expense of ones religion.
Allaah says(interpretation of the meaning): They wish that you should
compromise (in religion out of courtesy) with them, so that they
(too) would compromise with you. [al-Qalam 68:9]. This includes
sitting with them and entering upon them at the time when they are
making fun of the Signs of Allaah. Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning): And it has already been revealed to you in the Book
that when you hear the Verses of Allaah being denied and mocked
at, then sit not with them, until they engage in a talk other than
that; (but if you stayed with them), certainly in that case you
would be like them [al-Nisa 4:140]7. Trusting
them and taking them as advisors and consultants instead of the
believers. Allaah says(interpretation of the meaning): O you who
believe! Take not as (your) bitaanah (advisors, consultants, protectors,
helpers, friends, etc.)those outside your religion (pagans, Jews,
Christians, and hypocrites) since they will not fail to do their
best to corrupt you. They desire to harm you severely. Hatred has
already appeared from their mouths, but what their breasts conceal
is far worse. Indeed We have made clear to you the aayaat (proofs,
evidence, verses), if you understand. Lo! You are the ones who love
them but they love you not, and you believe in all the Scriptures
[i.e., you believe in the Tawraat and the Injeel, while they disbelieve
in your Book (the Quraan)]. And when they meet you, they say, We
believe. But when they are alone, they bite the tips of their fingers
at you in rage. Say: Perish in your rage. Certainly Allaah knows
what is in the breasts (all the secrets). If a good befalls you,
it grieves them, but some evil overtakes you, they rejoice at it
[Aal Imran 3:118-120].
THE MANNERS
OF COMPANIONSHIPShaykh Badrud-Deen
al-Ghazzee (d.984H) [1]The Shaykh -
rahimahullaah - said, [2]Know O pious
brother - may Allaah make our affairs good - that the manners of
companionship and good relationships are of various types, of which
I will explain, such as will show the person of intellect the manners
of the Believers and the Pious; and come to know that Allaah the
Most Perfect, the Most High has made them a mercy and helpers towards
each other, which is why the Messenger of Allaah (saws) said, ‘‘The
example of the Believers, in their mutual love and mercy is like
the example of a body, if one part feels pain, then all of the body
suffers in sleeplessness and fever.’’ [3]And he (saws)
said, ‘‘The Believer to the Believer is like a solid building, one
part supporting the other.’’ [4] The Prophet (saws) also said, ‘‘The
souls are arrayed armies, so those who knew each one another before,
will be friendly…’’ [5] So if Allaah intends good for His servants,
He grants them companionship of the people of the Sunnah, righteousness
and adherence to the Religion; and keeps him free from the companionship
of the people of innovations. The Prophet (saws) said, “A person
is upon the religion of his friend, so let every one of you look
to whom he keeps as a friend.’’ [6]About a person,
do not ask, but ask about his companion; Since every companion follows
his friends.’From the manners
of companionship:GOOD MANNERS:
Good manners
with the brothers, peers and companions, following the Messenger
of Allaah (saws) as he said, when it was said to him, ‘What is the
best of what a person is given?’ So he replied, ‘‘Good manners.’’
[7]MAKING ONE’S
OPINION GOOD:From the manners
of companionship is behaving well regarding the faults that he sees
of his companions, since Ibn Maazin said, ‘The Believer seeks excuses
for his brothers, whilst the hypocrite seeks out their faults.’
And Hamdoon al-Qassaar said, ‘If one of your brothers commits an
error, then seek ninety excuses for him, and if not, then you are
the blameworthy one.’COMPANIONSHIP
WITH THE BELIEVERS:To keep companionship
with one whose Religion you trust and who is trustworthy, both inwardly
and outwardly. Allaah the - Most High - says, “You will not find
anyone who believes in Allaah and the Last Day, making friendship
with those who oppose Allaah and His Messenger, even though they
were their fathers, sons, brothers or their relatives. For such
He has written eemaan (faith) in their hearts, and strengthened
them with a spirit (proofs, light and guidance) from Himself. And
We will admit them into gardens underneath which rivers flow, to
dwell therein forever. Allaah is pleased with them, and they are
pleased with Him. They are the Party of Allaah, indeed it is the
Party of Allaah that will be successful.’’ [Sooratul-Mujaadilah
58:22]FORMS OF COMPANIONSHIP:
For the Shaykhs
and elders: with respect to service and to carry out their needs.
For those of the same peer group and those of the ‘middle rank’:
with sincere advice, giving what you have and being prepared to
carry out their wishes. For the students and younger ones: by guidance,
teaching of manners, carrying out what knowledge demands, guidance
to the manners of the Sunnah, rulings concerning the matters of
the heart, and to guide them to develop good manners.OVERLOOKING
MISTAKES:From the manners
of companionship is overlooking mistakes of the brothers and not
reprimanding them. So al-Fudayl Ibn ’Iyaad (d.187H) said, ‘Chivalry
is to overlook the mistakes of the brothers.’ Ibnul-A’raabee (d.231H)
said, ‘Forgetting the harms caused by the brothers, causes you love
of them to persist.’ So it is binding upon the Believer, that he
avoids seekers of this world, since they will bring him down to
the level of seeking it, and this will distance him from his salvation
and it will distance him from remaining alert and being aware of
it. Rather, he must strive hard in attaining the companionship of
the good and the seekers of the Hereafter. Therefore, Dhun-Noon
(d.245H) said to the one whom he advised, ‘Accompany the one whom
you will be safe from outwardly, and whom - when you see him - it
helps you in doing good and reminds you of your Lord.’AGREEMENT WITH
THE BROTHERS:And from them
is: not to differ much with the brothers, but continue agreeing
with the brothers in those things allowed by knowledge and the Sharee’ah.
Aboo ’Uthmaan said, ‘Agreeing with the brothers is better than showing
compassion for them.’LEAVING OF ENVY:
That he does
not envy the signs of Allaah’s bounty upon them. Rather, he should
be happy for that and praise Allaah for it, just as he would praise
Allaah if it were seen upon him. Allaah - the Most High - censures
the envious one, ‘‘Or do they envy men for what Allaah has given
them from His bounty.’’ [Sooratun-Nisaa‘ 4:94]The Prophet
(saws) said, ‘‘Do not envy one another.’’ [8]TO KEEP A FEELING
OF MODESTY:That he has
hayaa‘ (modesty and shame) at all times, as he (saws) said, ‘‘Faith
(eemaan) has sixty or seventy odd branches, the most excellent of
them is witnessing that none has the right to be worshipped besides
Allaah, and the lowest branch is removing something harmful from
the road, and hayaa‘ is from eemaan.’’ [9] (saws) also said, ‘‘Hayaa‘
is from eemaan, and eemaan is from Paradise. Speaking obscenely
is from coarseness and coarseness is from the Fire.’’ [10]COMPANIONSHIP
OF THE DIGNIFIED:To accompany
the one who he has a feeling of respect for, so that this prevents
from acting contrary to the Sharee’ah. ’Alee (raa) said, ‘‘Enliven
your feeling of hayaa‘ (shame), by sitting before those whom you
feel shame. Ahmad Ibn Hanbal (d.241H) - rahimahullaah - said, ‘‘I
have not been led into calamity except by accompanying those before
whom I do not feel shame.’’SHOWING HAPPINESS:
To have cheerfulness
of the face, kindness of the tongue, largeness of the heart, outspreading
the hands, withholding anger, leaving off pride, keeping people’s
honor in mind and showing happiness at their companionship and brotherhood.
COMPANIONSHIP
OF THE WISE SCHOLAR:From good companionship
is that he does not accompany except a Scholar, of a person who
is mild, intelligent and has knowledge. Dhun-Noon - rahimahullaah
- said, ‘Allaah has not disrobed any one of His servants or a robe
better than intellect, and has not adorned him with a necklace better
than knowledge, nor adorned him with anything better than mildness.
And the completeness of that is taqwaa (fear of Allaah).’GIVING SINCERE
ADVICE:Having a clean
heart with regards to the brothers and advising them, as Allaah
- the Most High - said, “Except he who comes to Allaah with a clean
heart.’’ [Sooratush-Shu’araa 26:89]Saree as-Saqatee
(d.257H) - rahimahullaah - said, ‘One of the best manners of righteousness
is having a good heart as regards the brothers and to give them
sincere advice.’NOT BREAKING
PROMISES:Since this is
from hypocrisy, and he (saws) said, ‘‘The signs of the hypocrite
are three: When he speaks he lies, when he makes a promise he breaks
it and when he is entrusted he acts deceptively.’’ [11] Sufyaan
ath-Thawree (d.164H) - rahimahullaah - said, ‘‘Do not make a promise
to your brother and then break it, so that love turns to hate.’
Footnotes:
[1] He is the
muftee and faqeeh, Abul-Barakaat Badrud-Deen al-Ghazzee. For his
biography, refer to Shadharaatudh-Dhahab (8/403-406) of Ibnul-’Imaad
and al-A’laam (7/59) of az-Ziriklee.[2] From Aadaabul-’Ishrah
wa Dhikrus-Suhbah wal-Ukhuwwah (p. 9-20) with the checking and authentication
of hadeeth based upon that of Shaykh ’Alee Hasan al-Halabee and
also Shaykh Mashhoor Hasan Salmaan.[3] Related
by al-Bukhaaree (no. 6011) and Muslim (no. 2586), from an-Nu’maan
Ibn Basheer (raa).[4] Related
by al-Bukhaaree (no. 481) and Muslim (no. 2585), from Aboo Moosaa
al-Ash’aree (raa).[5] Saheeh:
Related by al-Bukhaaree (6/369) with ta’leeq (suspension), from
’Aa‘ishah (raa). It was connected by Aboo Ya’laa in al-Musnad (no.
4381) with an isnaad whose narrators are from as-Saheeh - as occurs
in al-Majma’ (8/88) of al-Haythamee.[6] Hasan: Related
by Ahmad (2/303), Aboo Daawood (no. 4812) and at-Tirmidhee (no.
2484), from Aboo Hurayrah (raa). It was authenticated by Imaam an-Nawawee
in Riyaadus-Saaliheen (no. 174).[7] Saheeh:
Related by Wakee’ in az-Zuhd (no. 423), Ibn Hibbaan (1/427) and
at-Tabaraanee in al-Kabeer (1/147), from Usaamah Ibn Shareek (raa).
It was authenticated by al-Haafidh al-’Iraaqee in Takhreejul-Ihyaa‘
(2/157).[8] Related
by al-Bukhaaree (10/484) and Muslim (no. 2564), from Aboo Hurayrah
(raa).[9] Related
by al-Bukhaaree (1/44) and Muslim (1/46)[10] Saheeh:
Related by Ahmad (2/501) and at-Tirmidhee (no. 2077) with a saheeh
isnaad, from Aboo Hurayrah (raa).[11] Related
by al-Bukhaaree (5/289) and Muslim (1/76)listening to Quran read-quranonline.com learn Quran to read Tajweed from live holy Quran tutor with beauty of recitation by the top Reciter of world the holy Quran must to read with the rule of Tajweed which is the way and the kids will know that how to read and learn Quran in proper way of (Recitation) we teach Quran online visit for further information. learningquranonline.com
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