Divorcing a wife because of her bad attitude

My brother-in-law had a miserable married life for last two years. his wife used to behave badly with him and the worst thing the girl used to torture /abuse her mother-in-law .
After many tormenting and disgusting discussions the boy,his mother, his father and his sister decided divorce is the only solution and he divorced. Please clarify whether the stance taken was right or not? .

Praise be to Allaah.  

The basic principle concerning divorce is that it is makrooh. This is indicated by the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Those who take an oath not to have sexual relation with their wives must wait for four months, then if they return (change their idea in this period), verily, Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

227. And if they decide upon divorce, then Allaah is All-Hearer, All-Knower”

[al-Baqarah 2:226] 

With regard to the oath not to have sexual relations, Allaah says “Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful”, but with regard to divorce, He says, “All-Hearer, All-Knower”. This contains an element of warning, and this indicates that divorce is makrooh or disliked by Allaah. 

But there may be some situations in which there is no alternative to divorce, and matters may reach a point where divorce becomes essential. In a situation such as that mentioned in the question, divorce is an appropriate solution, because one of the rights that a husband has over his wife is that she should respect his family, especially the husband’s mother. The mother’s rights over a man come before his wife’s rights, so the wife should help her husband to honour his mother. 

The scholars (may Allaah have mercy on them) have stated that divorce is permissible in cases where it is needed because of the wife’s bad attitude and bad conduct and because she is causing too much harm and not doing what she is supposed to do.  

Al-Mughni, 10/324 

And Allaah knows best.

Its the responsibility of every Moslem in learning Quran and tajweed and we also must teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then be aware of the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was vituperated and verity teaching of holy Quran and with Quranic tajweed we read Quran we can understand better all the replies that are necessitated if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know verity substance of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the information of the Holy Scripture with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we continue with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the information of Quran tafseer and one query that we all is required to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad acts to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be answerable to any one after this life of not then the query remains the very same that the reasons why we are here in the world but if yes then whom we have to respond is there any Divine All these response can be found when we go deep in to the Quran education do Quran reading and the so let us unite hands to full fill our job.

 

They committed zina then got married, and they cannot remember if they repented before doing the marriage contract or not; do they have to do a new marriage contract?

I am married, but my husband and I committed zina (fornication). After I read your answer to the question “Effects of marriage that results from an illicit relationship”, waswaas (whispers from the Shaytaan) began to affect me and my husband, because we cannot remember when we repented from this sin and I do not remember whether I menstruated before the marriage contract. All I know is that I was not pregnant. We regret it deeply and we do not know what to do.

Praise be to Allaah.

It is not permissible for the zaani to marry the zaaniyah except after repenting, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“The adulterer — fornicator marries not but an adulteress — fornicatress or a Mushrikah; and the adulteress –fornicatress, none marries her except an adulterer — fornicater or a Mushrik [and that means that the man who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan or idolatress) or a prostitute, then surely, he is either an adulterer — fornicator, or a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater). And the woman who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater) or an adulterer — fornicator, then she is either a prostitute or a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan, or idolatress)]. Such a thing is forbidden to the believers (of Islâmic Monotheism)”

[al-Noor 24:3]. 

If you both repented to Allah before marriage, then your marriage is valid. But if the marriage contract was done before you repented, then this is a matter concerning which the fuqaha’ differed.  

The majority are of the view that the marriage of the zaani and zaaniyah is valid, even if they have not repented. 

The Hanbalis are of the view that the marriage of a zaaniyah is not valid unless she repents, but they did not stipulate that the zaani has to repent in order for the marriage to be valid. Al-Insaaf, 8/132; Kashshaaf al-Qinaa‘, 5/83. 

According to this view, if you repented before the marriage contract, then the marriage is valid, but to be on the safe side you may do a new marriage contract. Repentance means regretting it and resolving not to go back to that sin. If you regretted falling into haraam and resolved to give it up, and got married, then this is repentance on your part. 

With regard to istibra’ (determining that the woman is not pregnant) or ‘iddah, this is also a matter concerning which the fuqaha’ differed. The Hanafis and Shaafa‘is are of the view that it is not necessary. 

What we advise you to do is to do a new marriage contract, without telling the wali the real reason for it. That is in order to be on the safe side. 

How the marriage contract is to be done is that your wali (guardian) should say to your husband in the presence of two witnesses: “I give my daughter or sister So and so in marriage to you”; and your husband should say: “I accept.” 

If it is not possible to do a new marriage contract without telling people of the haraam relationship, then we hope that you do not have to do that, and your marriage remains as it is, based on the majority view that this marriage is valid. 

We ask Allah to set your affairs straight and to accept your repentance. 

And Allah knows best.

She does not have a guardian and the man who wants to marry her is in a different city; how should the marriage be done?

How to Marry some girl that doesnt have a wali if she cant be present at the mosque ( Because we live far away from each other)? do i have to take a paper with me that confirms that she wants to marry me if an imam wants to take the position as a wali? note that the imam never seen ehr and hes not able to.

Praise be to Allaah.

If the girl does not have a guardian, her marriage should be done by the sharee’ah judge. If there is no sharee’ah judge, then her marriage should be done by a man of status among the Muslims, such as the imam of the mosque or Islamic centre, or a well-known scholar. If none of these are available, then her marriage should be done by one of the Muslim men. See the answer to question number 48992. 

In order for the marriage to be valid, it is essential that it be witnessed by two Muslim witnesses, who should testify that the proposal was made by the guardian and the acceptance by the husband, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a guardian and two witnesses of good character.” Narrated by al-Bayhaqi from the hadeeth of ‘Imraan and ‘Aa’ishah; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami, no. 7557. 

If you are in one city and the girl is in another city, and she does not have a guardian as you said, then the way to do the marriage is for her guardian to be one of the people of her city, such as the imam of the mosque or the Islamic centre, as stated above. He should make sure that she wants to get married and that she is pleased with you. Then he should appoint a person to act as his deputy in your city, who can do the marriage contract with you; or the marriage contract can be done between you and him by phone or by a chat program on the Internet, in the presence of witnesses with you or with him who can hear his proposal and your acceptance. 

The correct view is that a marriage done over the phone is permissible when there is certainty that it is free of any deceit. 

We put the following question to Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah be pleased with him): 

I want to do the marriage contract with a girl but her father is in another city, and at present I cannot travel to him in order for us to meet and do the marriage contract, due to financial and other reasons. I am in a foreign  country. Is it permissible for me to contact her father and for him to say to me, “I give my daughter so-and-so to you in marriage” and for me to say “I accept”, and the girl is willing, and there are two Muslim witnesses who can hear my words and his words via loudspeaker on the phone? Is this regarded as a legitimate shar’i marriage contract? He replied that what is mentioned, if it is genuine (and there is no deceit involved), fulfils the conditions of the shar’i marriage contract and the contract is valid. 

See the answer to question number 2201 and 48992. 

And Allaah knows best.

He stipulated that she should look after his father, then he took a second wife and she asked him for separate accommodation and to divide the work with her co-wife

The questioner got married to a woman after explaining to her his father's situation, as his father is sick and needs someone to take care of him. She agreed to that, but now he wants to marry a second wife, but the first wife said: If you take a second wife, then it is my right to ask for separate accommodation and to share the care of your father between us (wives). What is your opinion on that? The questioner is saying: How can she request this when it was stipulated from the beginning that she should take care of his father; in fact he only married her for this purpose and no other?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Allah has enjoined fulfilment of covenants and promises. He says (interpretation of the meaning): “O you who believe! Fulfil (your) obligations” [al-Maa’idah 5:1]. The most important covenant that is to be fulfilled is the marriage contract, whether by the husband or by the wife. It was narrated that ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The condition which most deserves to be fulfilled is that by means of which intimacy becomes permissible for you.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2572) and Muslim (1418). 

Based on that, what is required from the wife is to fulfil the condition that her husband stipulated, which is to serve and take care of his father. It seems to us that the wife has no right to ask him to divide this work between her and her co-wife, because that was not stipulated in the marriage contract; furthermore, she knows that Allah has permitted him to marry another woman, and she did not stipulate that he should not take another wife. 

As for her request for separate accommodation, she has the right to that unless it was stipulated before marriage that she should take care of his father in his house and that she would not have accommodation separate from his father. In that case, she is obliged to adhere to the two conditions regarding accommodation and taking care of the father, and she does not have the right to ask for separate accommodation or for the work to be divided between her and her co-wife, unless the husband doest hat on his own initiative. 

If the wife cannot put up with her new situation, then she has the right to ask for khula’ (a type of divorce), in which she will give up her mahr to her husband and he will divorce her (talaaq). 

For more details on khula’, see the answer to question number 26247. 

We advise the husband to be wise in his conduct and to fear Allah with regard to his first wife; she has accepted him as a husband and has agreed to serve his sick father. It is not right to respond to that by bringing in a co-wife who will not share the work with her and will have advantages over her which will cause him distress in his life and cause him trouble. 

We are not trying to forbid that which Allah has permitted of plural marriage; but we are aware that part of good attitude on the man’s part is responding in kind to the one who has been kind to him in word and in deed. We do not think that the husband’s insisting on not making his second wife share the work of caring for his father is a good way of responding to his first wife’s good conduct. He should stipulate for the second wife what he stipulated for the first; that is what is fair and wise. 

Whatever the case: 

We think that this wife should adhere to the conditions of marriage that were stipulated for her, but she has the right to ask for khula’ if she fears that she will not be able to fulfil the conditions or fulfil her duties towards her husband. But we think that the husband should do the right thing to get out of this situation, which is stipulating for the second wife what he stipulated for the first of caring for his father. If the marriage contract has been done without that, then he has to deal with her kindly and ask her to serve his father and look after him, working with his first wife. 

And Allah knows best.

Is it acceptable to stipulate a condition in the marriage contract that her husband should not inherit from her if she dies?

If a wealthy widow with children decides to remarry, can she put a clause in the marriage contract saying that after her death only her children will inherit from her and her new husband will give up any inheritance rights?

Praise be to Allaah.

The basic principle with regard to contracts and conditions is that they are permissible and valid, and none of them are haraam or invalid except that which is contrary to sharee‘ah. 

Stipulating that the husband should be deprived of inheriting in the event of the wife’s death is a condition that is contrary to sharee‘ah, because it is cancelling out the right of the husband that Allah granted him to a share of his wife’s wealth in the event of her death. 

Al-Bukhaari and Muslim (1504) narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) that she said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “What is the matter with people who stipulate conditions that are not in the Book of Allaah? There is no condition that is not in the Book of Allaah but it is invalid, even if there are one hundred conditions. The Book of Allaah is more deserving of being followed and the conditions of Allaah are more binding.” 

Al-Qurtubi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 

i.e., conditions that are not acceptable according to sharee‘ah are invalid even if they are many. 

 

End quote from Fath al-Baari, 5/189 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 

Whoever stipulates conditions in a waqf, manumission, a gift, a sale, a marriage contract, rental, vow and so on that is contrary to what Allah has decreed for His slaves in that those conditions enjoin something that Allah has forbidden or forbid something that Allah has enjoined, or they permit something that He has prohibited or prohibit something that He has permitted, then these conditions are invalid according to the consensus of the Muslims of all eras. 

End quote from Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa, 31/28 

He also said: 

If a condition is contrary to the conditions of Allah and His Messenger, it is invalid, such as if he stipulates that his son or his relatives should not inherit from him, or that he should help him in everything he wants and support him against everyone who opposes him whether he is in the right or otherwise, or that he should obey him in everything he tells him to do, and other such conditions. 

And when such conditions are made, then one should fulfil the part of it (the contract) that is in accordance with the commands of Allah and His Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), and he should not fulfil the part that is contrary to that. This is agreed upon among the Muslims. 

End quote from Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa, 35/97 

And Allah knows best.

Islam Q&A

Her parents want her to marry her paternal cousin and are rejecting a suitor who is not family

Praise be to Allah, I have been practising the teachings of Islam for four years. Since I started to do that, my father and mother have been trying to get me to marry my paternal cousin who lives in the West; he does not have a beard and his knowledge of Islam is extremely limited, although he prays the five daily prayers. But I want a person who understands my enthusiasm for Islam and will be better than me in knowledge so that I can learn from him. But my parents are telling me that I could teach him. 
My father also used to abuse me sexually from the time I was eleven years old, and I was terrified and very young, so I kept quiet. When I got older, I told my mother, but she is weak and is afraid that my father will leave her, so she believed him and not me. 
Now my parents do not like me and they call me a “Wahhabi” because I am not a Shaafa‘i like them. They insult me all the time in front of other family members. Now, praise be to Allah, my younger brother and my sisters are religiously committed, but my parents are telling me to stop contaminating the minds of their children. It is difficult for me to obey them because they are asking too much of me and they are persisting in mistreating me and calling me names. I no longer have any relationship with my father who refuses to speak to me about anything apart from exchanging greetings, because he says that I have accused him of serious things and because I only asked him not to touch me in that way. He believes that he is in the right and he does not believe that he has ever done anything wrong, because he did that to all of my sisters, but they did not say anything although one of them ran away from home. 
Now there is a brother who my brother thinks is suitable for me; he is religiously committed and has knowledge, but he is not from my country and my parents rejected him because they want me to marry my paternal cousin. I do not care about their rejection of this brother, but they are refusing to meet him and they say that the Prophet said that we should marry someone who is compatible to us, i.e., one of our family. I have tried to speak to them but they always insult me, and my mother cries and says that no one wants to listen to her and obey her. Is my refusal to marry my cousin regarded as disobedience towards them? I hope that you can advise me about how to deal with this situation, because I am very confused and am scared that Allah will punish me because my parents believe that I am not giving them their rights. 
Was I wrong to tell my mother about what my father was doing to me? But I have young sisters in the house and I am scared that my father will abuse them too. This thing destroyed my relationship with him and I do not want it to happen to them; I want them to love my father and obey him. This is what I find difficult now because of what happened in the past. Is my father right when he says that he has the right to do whatever he wants with us, because he is our father and it is even permissible for him to have intercourse with us. He said that it is haraam for us to say no to our parents because Prophet Ibraaheem never said no to his parents. I want to obey my parents but they are making it extremely difficult. I hope that you can advise me, O shaykh.

Praise be to Allaah.

Inna Lillaahi wa inna ilayhi raaji‘oon (Verily to Allah we belong and unto Him is our return). 

This is a very serious matter which shocks us to the core. How can the shepherd who is entrusted with the care of his flock turn into a ravenous wolf? How can a person -- no matter what his knowledge and education -- sink so low he thinks he has the right to do anything with his daughters, even as far as intercourse, and justify that as obedience to parents. Glory be to You (O Allah), this is a great lie. 

Undoubtedly the one who regards that as permissible is a kaafir according to the consensus of all Muslims. The fact that this is haraam is well known to any Muslim, and doing it is a perversion which no one would dare to do openly except a heretic. 

You did right to tell your mother and to take all measures to prevent him from doing these perverted and deviant acts with you. You have to treat him kindly and obey him in that which is right and proper, not in something that is a sin. 

You do not have to marry your paternal cousin; you have the right to accept him or reject him. It is not permissible to force a woman to marry someone she does not want, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The previously-married woman has more right concerning herself than her guardian does, and the virgin should be asked for permission, and her permission is her silence.” Narrated by Muslim, 1421.  

And he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “A previously-married woman should not be married until she has been consulted, and a virgin should not be married until her permission has been sought.” They said: O Messenger of Allaah, what is her permission? He said: “If she remains silent. Narrated by Muslim, 1491. 

If the righteous man whom you like proposes marriage but your father rejects him because he is not one of your family, then he is preventing you from marrying, and guardianship of you passes from him to the next closest male relative, who is the grandfather if he is present, then your brother. He may give you a marriage without the consent of the father. But you have to pay attention to negative consequences that may result from that. 

See the answer to question number 7193. 

We advise you to do a lot of acts of worship, turn to Allah and ask Him to protect you and your sisters. 

We ask Allah to help and guide you. 

And Allah knows best.

Status of the hadeeth about what is called the “du’aa’ of Jibreel”

What is the status of this du’aa’? The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Jibreel came down to me when I was praying behind the Maqaam and when I had finished praying I called upon my Lord, and said: ‘My Beloved, teach me something for my ummah so that when I depart this world and leave them, they may call upon Allaah and He will forgive them.” Jibreel said: “Whoever among your ummah bears witness that there is no god but Allaah and that you are Muhammad the Messenger of Allaah, and fasts the three days of al-beed, the thirteenth, fourteenth and fifteenth of each month, then calls upon Allaah with this du’aa’, which is written around the Throne. By the power of this du’aa’, O Muhammad, I descend and ascend. By this du’aa’ the Angel of Death takes the souls of the believers. This du’aa’ is written on the covers and pillars of the Ka’bah. Whoever among your ummah recites this du’aa’ will be safe from the torment of the grave and he will be one of those who are safe on the day of the great terror and from the death of the evildoers and Allaah will grant him independence of means, and he will granted provision from a source he never could imagine, and you will be his intercessor on the Day of Resurrection, O Muhammad…: ‘In the name of Allaah, the Most Gracious the Most Merciful. May Allaah send blessings upon Muhammad and his pure family. Glory be to You, You are Allaah, there is no god but You, You are the Guardian, the Protector; Glory be to You, You are Allaah, there is no god but You, You are the Fashioner, the Most Merciful; Glory be to You, You are Allaah, there is no god but You, You are All-Hearing, All-Knowing; Glory be to You, You are Allaah, there is no god but You, You are the Ever-Living, Sustainer; Glory be to You, You are Allaah, there is no god but You, You are All-Seeing, the Truthful; Glory be to You, You are Allaah, there is no god but You, You are the Expander, the Subtle; Glory be to You, You are Allaah, there is no god but You, You are the Most High, the Most Great; Glory be to You…” etc.
Is this correct.

Praise be to Allaah.

This hadeeth which is called “the du’aa’ of Jibreel” has no basis in the saheeh Sunnah, and not even among the da’eef (weak) reports. It is a hadeeth that is falsely attributed to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Whoever is familiar with the wording of ahaadeeth and du’aa’s will have no doubt that it is a fabrication of the heretics. Describing the virtues of this du’aa’ it was said: “Whoever writes it on his shroud with the dust of al-Husayn (peace be upon him) will be protected from the torment of the grave”! 

Some of the phrases used are indicative of the folly of the author, as he thinks that this du’aa’ can trick the guardians of the faith. Listen to what he says: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, and I memorized it and taught it to the believers of our party and our supporters”! 

As for the exaggerations about the rewards to be earned, and the mistakes in grammar and spelling, there are many such. At the beginning it says: “O Allaah, send blessings upon Muhammad and the family of Muhammad, there is no god but Allaah, the number of those who proclaim His Oneness, Allaah is Most great, the number of those who proclaim His greatness, praise be to Allaah, the number of those who praise Him, glory be to Allaah the number of those who glorify Him, I ask Allaah for forgiveness, I ask Allaah for forgiveness, the number of those who ask for forgiveness.” 

Whatever the case, in the saheeh Sunnah there is enough to suffice and we have no need of these misguided myths. Our advice to our brother is to read Husn al-Muslim (available in English under the title “The Fortress of the Muslim”) or Saheeh al-Kalim al-Tayyib, and the du’aa’s narrated by the trustworthy imams such as al-Bukhaari and Muslim in the chapters on du’aa’ in their books.  

And Allaah knows best.