Is it permissible to marry the daughter of my mother’s maternal uncle?

Is it permissible to marry the daughter of one’s grandfather? For your information, what I mean here by grandfather is the maternal uncle of my mother.
In other words, is it permissible to marry the daughter of my mother's maternal uncle?.

Praise be to Allaah.

It is customary in some societies to call the mother's maternal uncle “grandfather”, but this is not correct in either shar‘i or linguistic terms. The mother's maternal uncle is a maternal uncle to her and all her descendants, and his children are regarded as maternal cousins (awlaad khaal) to the children of that mother. 

For more information, please see the answer to question number 103878. 

Based on that, the daughter of your mother's maternal uncle is regarded as your maternal cousin, and the (female) maternal cousin is not a mahram, so there is nothing wrong with marrying her. Allah, may He be exalted, says:

“O Prophet (Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم)! Verily, We have made lawful to you your wives, to whom you have paid their Mahr (bridal‑money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), and those (slaves) whom your right hand possesses — whom Allaah has given to you, and the daughters of your ‘Amm (paternal uncles) and the daughters of your ‘Ammaat (paternal aunts) and the daughters of your Khaal (maternal uncles) and the daughters of your Khaalaat (maternal aunts)”

[al-Ahzaab 33:50]. 

Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Sa‘di (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Allah, may He be exalted, said, telling His Messenger of that which was permissible for him (for marriage) as well as for the believers, “and the daughters of your ‘Amm (paternal uncles) and the daughters of your ‘Ammaat (paternal aunts) and the daughters of your Khaal (maternal uncles) and the daughters of your Khaalaat (maternal aunts)”. This includes (daughters of) paternal uncles and aunts, maternal uncles and aunts, near and far. End quote. 

For more information, please see the answer to question no. 112320. 

And Allah knows best.

Who is the guardian of an illegitimate daughter when it comes to her getting married?

A muslim man and woman had an affair and had an illegitamate child from that affair. The married woman took the child into her house and remained married to her husband. It was decided that the biological father would provide for his daughter and that she would live in the house of her mother and her mothers husband. The biological father became a very religious man and it is almost 20 years after this incident. She now lives in a house with her mother, her mother's husband and her older half-brother and half-sister.
Who is the wali of this girl? The biological father who provided for her for 20 years, the step-father, or her older half-brother who also lives with them?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

The scholars (may Allah have mercy on them) differed concerning the illegitimate child. Is he to be attributed to his zaani father or not? There are two opinions, which have been discussed in the answers to questions no. 33591 and 85043. The more correct view is that he should be attributed only to his mother and that he should not be attributed to the zaani. 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Fataawa Islamiyyah (3/370):  “With regard to the child who is born as a result of zina, he is the child of his mother, not of his father, because of the general meaning of the hadeeth in which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘The child is to be attributed to the husband and the adulterer deserves nothing’ – i.e., this is not his child. This is what the hadeeth means. If the man marries her after repenting, then the child has been conceived before marriage and repentance and is not his child; he cannot inherit from the man who committed zina even if he claims him as his child, because he is not his legitimate child.” End quote. 

Secondly: 

Once it is established that the illegitimate child is not to be attributed to the zaani, then he has no ‘asbah [male relatives on the father's side]. 

It says in Asna’l-Mataalib (13/288): The illegitimate child has no ‘asbah because he is not attributed to the father. End quote from Tarqeem al-Shaamilah. 

Some of the scholars are of the view that his ‘asbah with regard to inheritance is his mother, or his mother’s ‘asbah [male relatives on her father’s side]. With regard to guardianship for marriage and other matters, he has no ‘asbah. 

It says in al-Iqnaa‘ (4/505): The ‘asbah of the illegitimate child is the ‘asbah of his mother with regard to inheritance only. … But they have no guardianship authority with regard to marriage or other matters. End quote. 

Based on that, this girl does not have any guardian on the basis of blood ties, so her guardian is the Muslim ruler, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2083) and al-Tirmidhi (1102); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. 

If you are in a country where there is no Muslim ruler, then her guardian is the director of the Islamic Centre in her country; if there is no such person then it is the imam of the mosque. 

For more information please see the answer to question no. 7989. 

And Allah knows best.

He married a woman who was a new Muslim without the permission of her parents, then they gave their approval after that

I got married almost 3 years ago but I have always questioned myself if my marriage is valid or not. I have always considered myself a religious man who follows the 5 pillars of Islam and does a lot of dawah. Previously I went to work and offered my assistance at a Masjid and Madrassa in another country for approximately 2 years. After the first year I was interested in getting married to a 22 year old new Muslimah convert from the country I was working in who also used to volunteer sometimes in the same madrassa I was working in. Because she was a new convert and her family was not Muslim, she did not have a Wali. She told her parents that she wanted to get married to me and they agreed at first but they wanted to talk to the Imam of the Masjid I was working in since he was the only Islamic authoritative figure in that country. They wanted to hear from the Imam if Islam permits their daughter to get married to me so soon. So the parents and her went to the Masjid together to meet with the Imam and the Imam told them that she should not get married to me and that she should delay her marriage until he finds someone from the same nation and just to be my friend but not more. The parents took the Imam’s advice because they already thought she shouldn’t get married since it was strange to get married so soon in their culture. The Imam just supported them by telling them what they wanted to hear (that she shouldn’t get married). I and other brothers were very disappointed at this because the Imam was preventing us to get married and we thought this was not fair or right. I have read some articles from your website saying a new Muslim convert does not have to inform her non- Muslim parents if she is getting married to a Muslim and an Imam can act as her Wali. So I thought it would be okay to not tell her parents and get married to her by having my local Imam in my country act as her Wali since the imam in her country told her and her parents not to marry me. We took the liberty of flying to my home country and marrying there through my local imam in front of 3 Muslim witnesses. However, I’m not sure if what I did was permissible or not and if my marriage is valid because she traveled with me to my home country without a Mahram. Her parents found out later that we got married and they have no problem with us being married now and we have been living together now for almost 3 years. However, I still need some clarification in this matter and need to know if I did the right thing. Could you please help and advise me?.

Praise be to Allaah.

First of all, we share your astonishment at the answer of this imam whose was not wise and was not appropriate to the case that was presented to him. Yes, a person could advise one who wants to get married in ordinary circumstances to marry someone from the same country or region as himself, so as to avoid differences in customs, traditions and so on, which can cause a lot of family problems, let alone the possible consequences of staying away from one’s country, such as severing of family ties and the like. 

But with regard to your problem, the matter is different in all aspects. Hence the advice of this imam was not appropriate. Moreover, giving advice is one thing and explaining the Islamic ruling to one who is asking about it is something else. If the imam was being asked for Islamic advice, he should have explained the ruling of Islam on the matter being referred to him, then after that he could give his advice in the light of what he thinks is in the best interests of the questioner. 

Secondly: 

If you did your marriage contract with this Muslim girl, with the proposal and acceptance as prescribed in sharee‘ah, and all the pillars or essential requirements of marriage were fulfilled, and the marriage contract was done by the imam of the neighbourhood in which you live or by the director of the Islamic Centre in your locality, then your marriage to this girl is valid. But in fact you did not need to travel with her without a mahram; this is something that was not permissible for you. And you should not have married her far away from her family, because they were not opposed to your marrying her and they were not opposed to her in her choice of religion. You could have brought her family to where you live or brought some of them, and the marriage could have been done in the proper Islamic fashion and in an appropriate social environment, so that her family could have attended and it would not have appeared to exclude them or go against their wishes. 

But whatever the case, so long as the matter is done and there have not been any problems with your wife’s family, then the marriage is valid even though there was the issue of your travelling with her without a mahram, which against the teachings of Islam. May Allah forgive you and her. 

See also the answer to question no. 2127 and 389 

And Allah knows best.

Is it valid for the maternal uncle to be the wali in the marriage contract of his sister’s daughter?

Is it valid for the maternal uncle to be the wali in the marriage contract of his sister’s daughter and to do the marriage contract for her?.

Praise be to Allaah.

It is confirmed that guardianship in the case of marriage belongs to the ‘asbah, who are the male relatives on the father’s side, such as the father, grandfather, son, brother, and paternal uncle.

With regard to the relatives on the mother’s side, they are not among the ‘asbah and there is no proof that they have the right of guardianship with regard to marriage. 

We have previously discussed the ‘asbah and their order of precedence with regard to guardianship in marriage in the answer to question number 99696. 

But there are some cases in which it is valid for the maternal uncle to assume guardianship with regard to the marriage contract. They are: 

1.     When he has been appointed as a guardian by the father or the guardian who has the authority to do the marriage contract. 

The scholars of the Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas said: 

If a person has the authority to do the marriage contract for a woman when one who is closer to her than him has given it up to him, or the rightful guardian has instructed that he should do the marriage contract for the woman under his guardianship, then it is permissible for him to do the marriage contract and that marriage is valid, because it is a right that was given to the one who was appointed and acted in his stead. End quote. 

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz, Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez Aal al-Shaykh, Shaykh ‘Abd-Allah ibn Ghadyaan, Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan, Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd 

Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 18/174, 175 

2.     If he is the wali (guardian) when there are no male relatives on the father’s side.

 This is the view of some of the scholars, such as Imam Abu Haneefah (may Allah have mercy on him). But the majority of the scholars are of the view that the Muslim qaadi should be given precedence over him. 

This has been discussed recently in the answer to the question referred to above. 

3.     When the maternal uncle does the marriage contract in the presence of the woman’s guardian and with his approval of the marriage contract. The silence of the guardian in this case is indicative of his approval, so the marriage contract is valid. 

In al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah (22/237, 238) it says: 

There is no doubt that negative silence is not indicative of approval or its absence. Hence the fiqhi principle is based on the idea that no opinion can be attributed to the one who remains silent, but silence in a context where there is a need to speak is a statement. This applies if it is accompanied by circumstantial evidence which may indicate his approval. 

The fuqaha’ are unanimously agreed that the silence of a virgin is indicative of her consent, because of the saheeh hadeeth that was narrated concerning that, as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “A virgin should not be given in marriage until her permission has been sought.” They said: O Messenger of Allah, what is her permission? He said: “If she is silent.” According to another report: “The previously married woman has more right to decide concerning herself than her guardian, and the father of the virgin should ask her permission concerning herself, and her permission is her silence.” End quote. 

4.     Where the marriage contract has been completed and documented in an Islamic state that follows the opinion that it is valid for the maternal uncle to do the marriage contract for his sister’s daughter, or the view that it is permissible to do a marriage contract without a guardian, because the verdict of the ruler in matters that are subject to ijtihaad is valid and cannot be overruled. 

This has been discussed in the answer to question no. 98546, where it says: 

If the judiciary system in your country follows the Hanafi madhhab and the regard the marriage without a guardian as valid, then the marriage remains in effect and cannot be annulled. But if the judiciary system in your country does not follow that madhhab, then the marriage contract is invalid. Moreover, if you both still want to be married to one another, a new marriage contract should be redone in the presence of your guardian. End quote. 

These are the cases in which the maternal uncle may act as the guardian with regard to doing the marriage contract and it will be valid. 

And Allah knows best.a

He married a woman who suffers from epilepsy and they did not tell him before the marriage contract was done; what should he do?

I have just been married few weeks back and I found out that my wife is suffering from epilepsy/fits.She starts shivering and gets unconcious for a while.
She or her family did not inform us with the situation.
What should I do?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Epilepsy is one of the faults that affect marriage and prevent some of its aims being fulfilled. If one of the spouses has this problem and conceals it, and the other both does not know of it until after the marriage has been consummated, then he or she has the choice of either continuing with the marriage or annulling it . 

It says in Mataalib Ooli al-Nuha, 5/147: 

Among the faults that confirm the option (of annulling) is insanity, even if he has seizures sometimes, because one cannot feel at ease with someone who has this condition; this also applies in the case of epilepsy. End quote. 

al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said in al-Minhaaj, in Baab al-Khiyaar fi’l-Nikaah: if one of the spouses finds that the other has a kind of mental illness… 

al-Haytami said in al-Tuhfah (7/345): the phrase mental illness includes epilepsy. End quote. 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: If he has lost his mind, even for a short time, i.e., if it is proven that he has been insane even for a short period, that is regarded as a fault, whether it is in the woman or the man, and that includes epilepsy. End quote. 

Al-Sharh al-Mumti‘, 12/215 

The husband should return the mahr to the one who deceived him – if he consummated the marriage with her. 

Al-Hajaawi said in al-Zaad, p. 167: 

If it is before consummation, there is no mahr, but after that she is entitled to what was agreed upon, and the one who was the cause of this deceit is responsible for paying it, if applicable. End quote. 

This applies if it is not possible to treat it, but if it is possible to treat it and it has been treated, then there is no option (of annulment). 

See: al-Sharh al-Mumti‘, 12/218-219 

If the fault becomes apparent after consummation of the marriage and the other partner accepts it or shows signs of accepting it, then he or she does not have the option of annulment either. 

It says in Zaad al-Mustaqni‘, p. 166 

Whoever accepts a fault or gives indications of accepting it when he finds out about it, he does not have the option (of annulment). End quote. 

To sum up: 

If you did not know about the fault until after consummation of the marriage with her, and this fault cannot be treated, then you have the choice: either you can accept it and put up with your wife’s sickness, or you can annul your marriage to her, and the woman is entitled to the mahr because of the intimacy that she allowed. But the one who should be responsible for paying the mahr is the one who deceived you and concealed from you this sickness that she has. 

See al-Sharh al-Mumti‘, 12/229-230 

What we advise you to do is not to be hasty regarding this matter; put up with it and bear it with patience, and try to find treatment for her by all possible means. Putting up with this problem will bring an abundant reward if you seek reward with Allah, especially if she is of good character and religiously committed. Perhaps if you do that for the sake of Allah, Allah will relieve her of this harm and hardship, and you will be rewarded for your patience. 

And Allah knows best. 

See also the answer to question no. 128221.

Validity of marrying a second wife for mere love and without consent of first wife

Is it ok for husband to marry a second wife, without the consent of the first wife. Just because the man, or husband, in our case, falls in love with another woman. Hence, should he marry her, even though he is already married? Does Islam allow such a situation for a man?

Al-hamdu lillah (praise be to Allah). Before responding to the this question, a comment must be made regarding an objectionable and reprehensible issue implied in the question, and that is the mentioning by the sister that he “falls in love with another woman”. It is known that it is not permissible in the Islamic religion the establishment of a relationship between a man and a woman who is ajanabiyya to him (lit. foreign, i.e., marriable) before marriage, for Allah revealed in Surat al-Maa’ida (the Table), ayah 5 a verse whose meaning can be translated as:

 “This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste and virtuous women who are believers, but chaste women among People of the Book, revealed before your time, when you give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness, nor secret intrigues. If any one rejects faith, fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).”

 And the word “akhdaan” that appears in this ayah (appearing above as “secret intrigues”) means intimate friend or companion, and in this case refers to a lover, and Allah has indicated in Surat al-Ahzaab (33:53) that a condition for talking with women when it is needed is: (a translation of the meaning)

 “…and if you ask them (women) for something you want, ask them from behind a hijab (both in the sense of a physical barrier such as a screen or wall, as well as in clothing); that makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs…”

And Allah has commanded women not to speak with soft, sensual voices with a man who is ajnabi (lit. foreign, meaning one to whom is not forbidden marriage for her) so that he is not tempted by their voices, and so as not to provoke feelings of lust. Allah ta’aala said in Surat al-Ahzaab ayah 32 a verse whose meaning can be translated as:

“… if you do fear (Allah) be not too complaisant of speech lest one in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire; but utter sufficient and appropriate speech.” (33:32)

So how could it possibly be permissible after all of these injunctions to establish love or friendship relations among women and men who are ajaanib (marriable)??

And as for the original matter of the question, Allah subhanahu wa-ta’ala who is al-Hakim (All Wise) al-Khabir (All Experienced) and who is more knowledgeable about the human beings He created than they themselves are about themselves, has ordained that a man is allowed to marry whom he wills among women as long as he does not bond in marriage under his care and responsibility more than four women. And this is conditioned upon him dealing justly among them the known justice specified by shari’a which includes overnight stays and spending. If he does not have the ability and capacity to deal with such justice, then he should suffice with one, as Allah indicates in Surat al-Nisaa’ in ayah 3, which has a meaning that can be translated as:

“… marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if you fear that you will not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one…” (4:3)

And Allah’s shar’aa (Islamic law) is all just and wise, and He ordains what He wills and does what He want and it is incumbent upon as human beings to believe and have faith and submit and obey and abide by the shari’a, otherwise then we are not Muslims nor mu’mineen (believers). As Allah also said in Surat al-Nisaa’ ayah 65 a verse whose meaning can be translated as:

“But no, by your Lord, they can have no (real) faith until they make you judge in all disputes between them, and find in their souls no resistance against your decisions, but accept them with the fullest conviction” (3:65)

and in Surat al-Ahzaab, ayah 36, a meaning that can be translated as:

“It is not fitting for a mu’min (believing man) or mu’mina (believing woman) when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Messenger to have any option about their decision: if anyone disobeys Allah and His Apostle he is indeed strayed on a manifestly wrong path.” (33:36)

Furthermore, no evidence appears neither in the Qur’an nor sunnah requiring the permission of the first wife if her husband wishes to marry another wife, and therefore he is not required to ask her permission. However, he needs to be judicious in taking this decision and to weigh it carefully with respect to benefits and drawbacks and to look with the eye of wisdom at all of the considerations pertaining to the matter, and he should strive all he can to conciliate, reassure, and satisfy his first wife, in order to ease and mitigate the effect of the matter upon her

Polygamy and respecting the wife’s feelings

Polygamy...I understand what Allah (swt)has said regarding this subject in as much as the economic and importance of the family structure however where in the Quaran does it address the distressed feelings of a woman when her husband decides to take another wife, and how these two should live in harmony under one roof?

Praise be to Allaah.

The first wife’s distress when her husband marries another wife is to be expected, and Allaah has set out rules and regulations to reduce these feelings or remove them altogether, by enjoining justice, patience in the face of adversity, and so on. Whatever the case, the fact that these feelings of distress and the dislike of polygamy exist does not justify condemnation of polygamy. Islam came to serve and increase people’s best interests, and to reduce harmful things and render them ineffective. There is no doubt that polygamy, when practised properly in accordance with Islam, achieves many things that are in people’s best interests (such as maintaining the chastity of the man who is not satisfied with one wife, taking care of and maintaining the chastity of the woman who has no husband, increasing the offspring of the Muslims, solving the problem of widows and spinsters, and of the reduced numbers of men after times of war, and so on). As regards the bad things that happen in cases of polygamy, either they are very small when compared to its benefits, or they stem from bad application of this practice. One of the rights which Islam gives to women is that a wife should have her own house, so the two wives do not have to live together under one roof. And Allaah knows best.

Permissibility of marrying a second wife

Is it permissible for a person who cannot adjust with his current wife to marry a second wife?  He does not want to leave his first wife.

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English translation:

Praise be to Allaah and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

It is OK for you to marry a second wife, and in fact this could be the solution to your problem, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

"… then marry women of your choice, two or three, or four…" [al-Nisaa’ 4:3]

- as long as you are going to treat them equally with regard to where you spend your nights and how much you spend on them. So if you spend one night with one, and the next night with the other, and spend on them equally, there is nothing wrong at all with marrying a second wife.

And Allaah knows best.

Her husband is not fulfilling her sexual desires so she is resorting to masturbation

When having intercourse my desire is not fulfilled between me and my husband, and sometimes after intercourse is over I masturbate with my hand without my husband’s knowledge. This happens frequently. What is the Islamic ruling on that?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

Masturbation using the hand and otherwise is haraam for both men and women, because of the evidence which you will find mentioned in the answer to question no. 329. 

Both spouses have the right to enjoy one another however they wish, so long as they avoid menstruation and the back passage. There is nothing wrong with him masturbating you by hand and vice versa. 

Secondly: 

What you have mentioned about your desire not being fulfilled may be dealt with by speaking frankly with your husband and by each side being open and honest with the other, by each of them being aware of his or her responsibility and by both of them being eager to achieve happiness, tranquillity and love. Many husbands neglect the wife’s rights with regard to intimacy and fulfilment of desire, and this usually stems from ignorance about women’s nature and their differences from men with regard to this action. Speaking frankly, trying to deal with the matter and reading some books on this topic all play a major role in setting things straight, in sha Allaah. If the woman has the habit of masturbating, that may make her lose interest in her husband and she may not feel any desire for intercourse, or it may not be enough to satisfy her. This is one of the harmful effects of masturbation that has been mentioned by specialists. 

See also question no. 23390. 

May Allaah help us all to do that which He loves and which pleases Him. 

And Allaah knows best.

He divorced her in return for half of the mahr after he accused her. Does he have the right to this money?

I am a religiously-committed young woman, praise be to Allaah. There was a problem between me and my husband – from whom I have a daughter –as the result of which I went to my father’s house. He had doubts about me and accused me with regard to my honour without any convincing reason, then he apologized, then he accused me again. That happened several times, which made me certain that he was afflicted with waswaas (whispers from the shaytaan). I could no longer bear it, so I went to my family. After I went to them, I stayed with them for four months, during which my husband only became more stubborn and insistent upon his position, without any proof or evidence against me. After that my brother went to him to try to work things out, but he insisted on his position, and asked me to repent, and the matter got worse. He spoke ill of my father and how he had raised me. At that point my brother and my father
insisted that he should divorce me, otherwise they would refer our problem to the courts, and he would have to prove his accusations against me. My husband asked for half of the mahr in return for divorcing me, but after a while he divorced me without us giving him anything, and he kept quiet about that, and did not ask for the money again. 
Now Allaah has compensated me with another husband who is religiously committed, praise be to Allaah. My second husband has pointed out to me that I may owe some money to my first husband. Because I am afraid of doing something haraam and consuming people’s wealth and taking away their rights, I hope that you can advise me with regard to this matter. Please note that I do not have this money, and I do not ask him for any expenses for his daughter, but he sends some to her sometimes, and sometimes he does not send her anything. Does he have any right to my wealth? 
May Allaah reward you with good.

Praise be to Allaah.

For a husband to slander his wife and accuse her with regard to her honour is a major sin, which incurs a hadd punishment and means that his testimony is to be rejected. He has to bring shar’i evidence to prove the accusation, or else engage in li’aan. 

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:  

If he slanders his chaste wife then he is subject to the hadd punishment, and he is ruled to be a faasiq (evildoer) whose testimony is to be rejected, unless he brings proof or engages in li’aan. If he does not bring four witnesses or he refuses to engage in li’aan, then all of that applies to him. This is the view of Maalik and al-Shaafa’i. 

This is indicated by the verse in which Allaah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And those who accuse chaste women, and produce not four witnesses, flog them with eighty stripes, and reject their testimony forever. They indeed are the Faasiqoon (liars, rebellious, disobedient to Allaah)”

[al-Noor 24:4] 

This is general in meaning and applies to the husband and others. With regard to the husband in particular, his li’aan may take the place of testimony in order to cancel out the hadd punishment, judgement of being a faasiq and rejection of his testimony. 

Also, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “(Bring) proof, or else the hadd punishment will be on your back.” And he said when he conducted the process of li’aan: “The punishment in this world is easier to bear than punishment in the Hereafter.”

 Because he has slandered (his wife), the hadd punishment should be carried out on him if he admits to lying; therefore the hadd punishment is due unless he brings the proof required by sharee’ah, as is the case with any other man.  

Al-Mughni (9/30). 

Based on this, what the husband must do is fear Allaah with regard to himself and his wife, and he should refrain from bad talk. Speaking against his wife is an attack on his own honour. He must also declare himself to be a liar by asserting his wife’s innocence of what he has fabricated against her. If he does not do that, then he deserves what Allaah has decreed for those who do that, namely the hadd punishment, rejection of his testimony and being judged to be a faasiq, and she has the right to demand that he divorce her, and he should give her her rights in full. 

Secondly: 

Putting pressure on one's wife by making false accusations, annoying her and beating her in order to make her give up her mahr or any part of it is called al-‘adl (treating the wife harshly in order to take away the dowry or part of it), and it is haraam, unless she has committed blatant immorality. If the husband does that, he has no right to what his wife has given up, and he has to return it to her. If he refuses to divorce her, then she has the right to free herself from him and give up her mahr or more or less than that. If he is lying and is wronging her, then what he takes is evil and haraam, and if he is telling the truth then what he takes is permissible for him, so long as he has proven that which incurs the hadd punishment by means of four witnesses or li’aan. This applies if he has accused her openly; however, if he saw her commit an immoral deed and it is between him and his Lord, then he may put pressure on her so that she may give up part of her mahr in return for divorce. 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked about a man who accused his wife of immorality; he did not see her do anything that is disapproved of in sharee’ah, but he claimed that he sent her to a wedding then he spied on her and did not find her at the wedding, but she denied that. Then he went to her guardians and told them what had happened, and they called her to respond to what her husband was saying, but she refused for fear of being beaten, and she went out to the house of her maternal uncle. Then after that the husband used this incident to deny her her rights and he claimed that she had gone out without his permission. Does that invalidate her rights, and should her denial be accepted? 

He replied: 

Allaah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will; and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the Mahr you have given them, unless they commit open illegal sexual intercourse”

[al-Nisa’ 4:19] 

So it is not permissible for a man to force his wife by putting pressure on her to make her give up part of the dowry, or to beat her for that purpose. But if she commits open illegal sexual intercourse then he has the right to put pressure on her to give up all or part of the dowry in return for divorce. This is with regard to that which is between a man and Allaah. 

As for the family of the woman, they should find out the truth and help to establish it. If they find out that she is the one who has transgressed the sacred limits of Allaah and betrayed her husband, then she is the wrongdoer and transgressor and she should give up the dowry in return for divorce. If he says that he sent her to a wedding and she did not go to the wedding, then he should ask her where she went. If he is told that she went to some people about whom there is no suspicion, and those people confirm what she says, all well and good; if they say that she did not come to them and she did not go to the wedding, then there is something dubious and this supports what the husband is saying. 

As for the furniture etc that she brought from her father’s house, he should give it back to her whatever the case, but if they reconcile then reconciliation is good. 

If the woman repents, then it is permissible for her husband to keep her and there is nothing wrong with that, for the one who repents from sin is like one who did not sin at all. 

If they do not agree for her to go back, then she can give up the dowry and the husband can let her go (khula’), because khula’ is permissible according to the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of His Messenger, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Then if you fear that they would not be able to keep the limits ordained by Allaah, then there is no sin on either of them if she gives back (the Mahr or a part of it) for her Al-Khul‘ (divorce)”

[al-Baqarah 2:229] 

Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (32/283, 284) 

Thirdly: 

It seems to us that you owe him nothing, and that what he is demanding of half of the mahr is not his right according to sharee’ah. It seems that he has had second thoughts or that someone has told him about the ruling, so he did not persist in his demands. He may have given up half of the mahr in return for your looking after his daughter and spending on her. 

Whatever the case, he has not produced witnesses for what he has accused you of, and he has not engaged in li’aan, and he has not seen anything that would make him not a sinner between him and his Lord. All of this means that you are in the right and he is not – according to what is said in your question – so he has no right to stipulate that he be given half of the mahr. 

May Allaah bless your new husband for you, whom Allaah has granted to you, and may He reward him with good for telling you to ask about the rights of your first husband. This is indicative of a good character and great religious commitment. 

We ask Allaah to grant him the best of rewards and to make him a good compensation for you and your daughter, and to bring you together in goodness and bless you with goodly offspring. 

We ask Allaah to guide your first husband to repent sincerely and to heal him if he is sick, and to compensate him with something better. 

And Allaah knows best.

Her husband cannot produce children and he is addicted to haraam things

I have been married for 8 months and after getting married I found out that my husband cannot have children and he is often sick due to varicose veins in the calves. Of course this affects him with regard to intimacy with me, but he tries to put the blame on me all the time. He rebukes me and blames me for his shortcoming, although I am not like that, praise be to Allaah the Lord of the Worlds. 
The point is that my problem is great indeed. About a month ago I found out that he commits sin (zina) in the chat rooms, and it is even worse than that, since I found out that he is like the people of Loot (i.e., homosexual). What should I do? Please note that whenever I speak about any subjects he says that I am wrong, he is the only one who is right, and my words and thinking are wrong. I hope that you will answer me. What should I do?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

If the husband is sterile and cannot have children then it is the woman’s right to demand an annulment of the marriage, because of this defect in the husband, as she has the right to have a child, and in fact that is one of the greatest aims of marriage. If it is not possible to have the marriage annulled then she may ask for a divorce and in that case he has to divorce her and give her her rights in full, like the delayed portion of the dowry, etc. 

Secondly: 

This husband’s rights over you are that you should advise him sincerely first of all. In the answer to question no. 7669 you will find information on how to advise him. 

Thirdly: 

If he does not respond to the advice, and he persists in the haraam things that he is doing, then there is nothing good for you in remaining with this husband, because he is not giving you your rights, and because he does this evil deed. 

Now you are at the beginning of your marriage, and it is fortunate that you do not have a child from him. So hasten to seek a divorce, and if he refuses, then separate from him by means of khula’. May Allaah compensate you with someone better than him, and bless you with a righteous husband and righteous offspring who will bring you joy. 

And Allaah knows best.

She lives with her husband’s family even though there is a separate apartment available

This is not my situation only, rather it is faced by many women who wear shar’i hijab (niqaab). We live with our husbands and their families in the same house, i.e. his brothers, who are men, live with us in the same house, and there is no servant, so we have to take care of the housework, which is plentiful and hard. There is nothing to stop one of the husband’s relatives, such as his paternal or maternal uncle, entering upon us without permission, so the house is open. When we clean the balconies, the neighbours and everyone in the street can see us. 
Is it correct for us to wear niqaab only when going out? Or should we wear it in the house from morning to night? Please note that this will be extremely difficult for us. I have a flat of my own, but we only go there to sleep. We live with my husband’s family that is composed of one brother and his mother. Please note that we can afford to live separately, but my husband does not want that. What should we do?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Hijaab is enjoined in all cases where it is thought that fitnah (temptation) may occur. For a large family to live together in one house, where the wife is together with her husband’s brothers or with his cousins (paternal or maternal) is a situation where the barrier of modesty may be lifted and shaytaan may instil evil ideas in people’s minds. In that case it is essential for a woman to cover her face in front of non-mahrams, and put up with any hardship involved. 

On this site we have a number of similar questions in which we have confirmed the obligation to wear hijab and cover oneself. Please see questions no. 6408, 13261, 40618, 47764 and 52814. 

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

The husband’s brother, sister’s husband, cousins and so on are not mahrams, and they have no right to look at a woman’s face. It is not permissible for her to take off her jilbab in front of them, because that may lead to them being tempted by her. It was narrated from ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Beware of entering upon women.” An Ansaari man said: O Messenger of Allaah, what do you think of the in-law? He said: “The in-law is death.” Agreed upon. What is meant by the in-law is the husband’s brother, uncle and so on. That is because they can enter the house without any suspicion, but they are not mahrams by mere virtue of their relationship to her husband. Based on that, it is not permissible for her to uncover her adornments in front of them, even if they are righteous and trustworthy, because Allaah has limited the permissibility of showing one's adornments to mahrams only, and the husband’s brother, uncle, cousin and so on are not among the mahrams. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said in a hadeeth whose soundness is agreed upon: “No man should enter upon a woman except with a mahram.” What is meant by a mahram is one for whom it is permanently forbidden to marry her because of blood ties, ties of marriage or breastfeeding, such as a father, son, brother, paternal uncle, and so on. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade that lest the Shaytaan tempt them to commit evil and make sin attractive to them. It is proven that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man is alone with a woman but the shaytaan is the third one present.” Narrated by Imam Ahmad with a saheeh isnaad from ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him). 

Those who follow the customs of their countries that go against that on the grounds that this is their family’s tradition or the custom of their people have to strive hard to give up this custom. They should cooperate to put an end to it and rid themselves of its evil, so as to protect their honour and help one another in righteousness and piety, and in obedience to the command of Allaah and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). They should repent to Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, from what they have done in the past, and strive to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, and persist in doing so. They should not fear the blame of the blamers when supporting the truth and combating falsehood, and they should not let the fact that some people mock them or make fun of them put them off. What is required of every Muslim is to follow the laws of Allaah willingly, seeking that which is with Allaah and fearing His punishment, even if that means going against the closest and dearest of people to him. End quote. 

Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn Baaz (4/256-258) 

Our advice to the husband is to strive hard to provide accommodation that is separate from his family, and not to take such matters lightly. Allaah has entrusted his wife to him and he must take care of her. Insisting on living in the same house as his family and brothers is not taking care of her. 

It is not one of the husband’s rights over his wife to force her to live with his family, rather he is obliged to provide her with separate accommodation when she asks for that. This has been discussed in detail, with evidence and the comments of the scholars, in the answer to question no. 7653. 

Situations such as that which you describe are not free of evils. It is very hard for the woman to wear full hijab – even in the house – from morning till night. She cannot do her housework when she is wearing full hijab; she has to uncover her face and hands, and so on, and in that case she will be seen by her husband’s brothers and others for whom it is not permissible to see her and in front of whom it is not permissible for her to uncover. 

It is not permissible for the husband to impose this on his wife, as it will gradually weaken her faith and lessen her modesty. He is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. 

You say in your question that you have a separate flat. What is keeping your husband from treating you properly and looking after you in your own flat, instead of making you stay with your husband’s family all day even though that is difficult for you and leads to that which Allaah has forbidden? 

We ask Allaah to guide your husband to that which is best for you both in this world and in the Hereafter. 

And Allaah knows best.

If he forbids her to visit her family, should she obey him?

Is it permissible to obey one’s husband if he does not want his wife to visit her family?.

Praise be to Allaah.

It is not permissible for a woman to go out of her husband’s house without his permission, even if that is to visit her parents, but he should give her permission, so that she will be able to uphold her ties of kinship. But if he forbids her then she must obey him, and he has no right to prevent her parents from visiting her or speaking to her. 

The fuqaha’ differed concerning this issue, but what we have mentioned is the most correct view. 

The Hanafis and Maalikis are of the view that he does not have the right to prevent her from visiting her parents.  

The Shaafa’is and Hanbalis are of the view that he does have the right to prevent her, and she must obey him and not go out to visit them without his permission, but he does not have the right to prevent her from speaking to them or to prevent them visiting her, unless he fears that some harm may result from their visit, in which case he may prevent it so as to ward off harm. 

Ibn Nujaym (Hanafi) said: If her father is chronically ill, for example, and he needs her to serve him, and the husband prevents her from looking after him, then she should disobey him, whether the father is a Muslim or a kaafir. This is what it says in Fath al-Qadeer. From what we have mentioned it may be understood that she may go out to visit her parents and mahrams, and according to the correct view she may go out to visit her parents once a week with or without his permission, and to visit her mahrams once a year with or without his permission. End quote from al-Bahr al-Raa’iq (4/212). 

It says in al-Taaj wa’l-Ikleel ‘ala Matn Khaleel (Maaliki) (5/549): In al-‘Utbiyyah it says: The man does not have the right to prevent his wife from going out to her father’s or brother’s house, and this is the ruling that should be issued concerning that, unlike Ibn Habeeb. Ibn Rushd said: This difference of opinion only concerns a young woman who is trustworthy; as for the old woman, there is no dispute that she may visit her father and brother. And as for a young woman who is not trustworthy, she should not be allowed to go out. End quote. 

The “old woman” is one who is elderly and for whom men feel no desire. Al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (29/294). 

Ibn Hajar al-Makki (Shaafa’i) said: If a woman needs to go out to visit her father or to use the public baths, she should go out with her husband’s permission, not showing her adornments, wearing a wrapper and scruffy clothes, lowering her gaze when walking in the street and not looking right or left, otherwise she will be sinning. End quote from al-Zawaajir ‘an Iqtiraaf al-Kabaa’ir (2/78). 

It says in Asna al-Mataalib (Shaafa’i) (3/239): The husband has the right to prevent his wife from visiting her parents (when they are sick) and attending their funerals and the funeral of her child, but it is better not to do that. End quote. 

Imam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) said concerning a woman who has a husband and a sick mother: Obeying her husband is more obligatory for her than her mother, unless he gives her permission. End quote from Sharh Muntaha al-Iraadaat (3/47). 

It says in al-Insaaf (Hanbali) (8/362): She does not have to obey parents about leaving her husband or visiting them and so on, rather obedience to her husband takes precedence. 

The Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas was asked: What is the ruling on a woman going out of her husband’s house without his permission, and staying in her father’s house without her husband’s permission, and preferring to obey her father rather than her husband? 

Answer: It is not permissible for a woman to go out of her husband’s house without his permission, whether to go to her parents or elsewhere, because that has to do with his rights over her, unless there is a shar’i reason that compels her to go out. End quote from Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah (19/165). 

Another indication that it is essential to have the husband’s permission to visit one's parents is the report narrated in al-Saheehayn about the story of the slander (al-ifk), in which ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): Will you give me permission to go to my parents?  

Al-Bukhaari (4141) and Muslim (2770). 

Al-‘Iraaqi said in Tarh al-Tathreeb (8/58): Her saying “Will you give me permission to go to my parents?” indicates that the wife should not go to her parents’ house except with her husband’s permission, unlike her going out to relieve herself which does not require his permission, as happened in this hadeeth. End quote. 

Nevertheless, it is better for the husband to allow his wife to visit her parents and mahrams, and not to prevent her from doing that unless some harm will result from visiting any of them, because his preventing her entails the severing of family ties, and his refusing her permission may make her go against him, and because visiting her family and relatives will make her and her children happy, and that will benefit the husband and the family. 

And Allaah knows best.

It is not a condition of divorce that the wife should know or that she should be divorced face-to-face

I have been divorced for three years now. the proceedings were done through a solicitor. my ex husband did not contest therefore it was done through agreement between us. what i would like to know he has never verbally said 'talaq' to me. i have asked a few people, they tell me that under the islamic law i am divorced, and some people tell me that he has to say it verbally. please clarify this for me, as it is affecting me. i initiated the divorce on grounds of violent behaviour.

Praise be to Allaah.  

It is not a condition of divorce that the husband should speak the word in front of his wife or that she should know of it. When the man speaks the words of divorce, or writes them down, this is regarded as a valid divorce that takes effect, even if the wife does not know of it. 

If your husband has completed divorce proceedings with a lawyer then this divorce is valid and effective. Please see questions 9593 and 20660. 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked: 

A man has been away from his wife for a long time, and he had divorced her to himself, even though he did not inform her of that. Has divorce taken place? 

He replied: 

The divorce has taken place, even if he did not convey that to his wife. If a man utters the words of divorce and says, “I divorce my wife”, the wife is divorced whether she knows it or not. Hence if we assume that the wife does not come to know of this divorce until after she has had three menstrual cycles, then her ‘iddah is complete even if she did not know. Similarly if a man dies and his wife does not come to know of his death until after the end of the ‘iddah period, then she does not have to observe ‘iddah because in this case it is already over. 

Fataawa Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 2/804.

He thought of divorcing his wife

I had an argument with my wife about doing the laundry. I want her to wash the clothes and she does not want to do it. After a lot of arguing and shouting I went to a different room and thought of telling her, “You will be divorced if you wash them this month, I will wash them myself.” But I did not tell her what I had said to myself, and I did not say it in a loud voice. I could hardly hear myself saying it. I did that to stop the argument about the laundry, because she is very argumentative and I did not mean to divorce her, only to scare her. All of that happened to me in a moment of anger. If she does the laundry will that mean she is divorced or is it just a vow (yameen)?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

Divorce does not happen just because you said that to yourself or you thought about it, or decided to do it but did not utter the words. 

That is because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah will forgive my ummah for whatever crosses their minds and whatever they think of, so long as they do not act upon it or speak it out loud.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6664; Muslim, 127. 

Ibn Qudaamah said: What that means is that divorce can only take place if the words are spoken out loud. If a man intends that in his heart but does not utter the words, then divorce does not take place, according to the majority of scholars, including ‘Ata’, Jaabir ibn Zayd, Sa’eed ibn Jubayr, Yahya ibn Abi Katheer, al-Shaafa’i, and Ishaaq. This was also narrated from al-Qaasim, Saalim, al-Hasan and al-Shu’bi. 

Al-Mughni, 7/294. 

From your words, “I did not say it in a loud voice. I could hardly hear myself saying it” we understand that you did utter these words, but in a soft voice. If that is the case, then what you said is regarded as meaning that you did divorce her, subject to the condition, which is that she washes the clothes. But you said that you did not intend to divorce her, only to scare her. Based on this, the ruling on this divorce is that of a vow (yameen): if she washes your clothes then you have to offer kafaarat yameen (expiation for breaking a vow), and that is not a divorce, as mentioned in the fatwa by Shaykh Ibn Baaz and Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on them). See Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/280-285. 

Kafaarat yameen is mentioned in the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Allaah will not punish you for what is unintentional in your oaths, but He will punish you for your deliberate oaths; for its expiation (a deliberate oath) feed ten Masaakeen (poor persons), on a scale of the average of that with which you feed your own families, or clothe them or manumit a slave. But whosoever cannot afford (that), then he should fast for three days. That is the expiation for the oaths when you have sworn”

[al-Maa'idah 5:89] 

See also question no. 9985. 

All of this is based on the assumption that you spoke these words out loud, and that you were not just thinking of the matter. 

It is better and more on the safe side if you offer kafaarat yameen. 

To sum up the answer: 

If you did not actually utter the words of divorce, and you did not move your tongue, then you do not have to do anything. 

But if you uttered these words, even in a low voice, this comes under the ruling of a vow (yameen), because you meant to stop her washing your clothes, not to divorce her. 

Whether your wife knows what happened or not, that does not alter the ruling at all. 

The Muslim should avoid the matter of divorce, whether in thinking, determining to do it or speaking the words out loud, because that exposes the Muslim family to destruction for trivial reasons. 

We ask Allaah to set the Muslims’ affairs straight. 

And Allaah knows best.

Problems caused by wife’s illness

My brother married a woman who suffers from retinal atrophy, and he did not know anything about her sickness until two months ago. All he knew was that her vision was weak, and he got married to her. Now he is wondering whether he should separate from her because he feels that she will not be able to raise his children properly if she has children.
 He is always arguing with her mother because she speaks badly to him and he thinks that she bewitched him to make him marry her daughter. Now he cannot control his anger most of the time and he beats his wife, and he insults her in horrible terms. I hope you can suggest what is best for them.

Praise be to Allaah.  

What you have mentioned about her suffering from retinal atrophy is not one of the faults which the fuqaha’ have stated give the husband the choice of annulling the marriage. But some scholars, such as Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, and Ibn al-Qayyim – and Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen who regarded it as being the correct view – narrated that every fault which puts the other spouse off, so that the purposes of marriage, namely compassion and love, cannot be achieved, mean that the spouse has the choice of annulling the marriage. (Zaad al-Ma’aad, 5/163) 

Based on this, the choice of annulment is given in every case where there is a fault that affects the purposes of marriage, namely love, intimacy, bearing children, etc. 

But your brother came to know of this fault after that, and he did things which indicate that he accepted that, namely continuing to be intimate with her and not hastening to annul the marriage. According to the fuqaha’ this indicates that he accepts it, and that he does not have the right to annul the marriage. 

But as you know, divorce is the man’s right and he may divorce his wife if he thinks that he cannot live a good life with her and that he cannot feel love for her and feel at ease with her, which is the basis of marriage. 

What we advise in such situations is to be patient with this wife and try to solve the problem. If her mother is the main reason for the problems, then it is better to keep a distance from her and to live in separate accommodation. If your brother lives in the same house as her or nearby, then it is sufficient to keep in touch by phone and pay brief visits, etc. If the wife’s bad attitude is the reason for the problem, then your brother should check himself and how he treats his wife, for the way he treats her, beating her and calling her names, may be the reason for her bad attitude. He should seek the help of people who have experience in dealing with such problems, and try different ways of finding a solution to each problem. 

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings through it a great deal of good”

[al-Nisa’ 4:19] 

If it is too much for him and he finds that there is no way to solve the problem or to live peacefully with his wife, then there is no sin in divorcing her; in this case she is entitled to the mahr because the marriage has been consummated. And Allaah knows best.

She wants a divorce but he does not want to divorce her

I have a sister who is married, but her husband has not consummated the marriage with her yet. Everything was fine until my sister suddenly said that she does not want to live with her husband because she no longer loves him. They have not lived together in their house as husband and wife. When her husband heard her say this he got very angry and refused to divorce her. My sister is insisting that she does not want to live with him and he is insisting that he will not divorce her. We have told her that she cannot get divorced without a legitimate shar’i reason and proof, but she says that he gets angry quickly, and discloses secrets. It should be noted that she has not yet lived with him in the same house. Her husband admits that and says that he will change. What is the shar’i solution to this difficult problem?.

Praise be to Allaah.  

If the husband is giving his wife her rights as prescribed in sharee’ah, then it is haraam for her to ask him for a divorce, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who asked for a divorce for no reason, the fragrance of Paradise is forbidden to her.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1187; Abu Dawood, 2226; Ibn Maajah, 2055; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood). 

What is meant by the words “for no reason” is without any urgent situation which makes it hard for the marriage to continue.  

If the wife is being harmed and the situation is too difficult for her because of the husband’s falling short in giving her her rights, or his withholding her rights from her, or because of his bad treatment and other similar reasons, then she has the right to ask for divorce, and she may refer to the qaadi and tell him what is happening, and he in turn can ask the husband to give her her rights or to divorce her.  

If she has found out that he has some bad characteristics, he should not hasten to ask for a divorce, rather she has to be kind to him and advise him in the way that is best, and help him to change his character for the better. He acknowledges the way he is and has promised to change. This is a positive step on the husband’s part and it is the first step in dealing with the problem. The wife should help her husband to do good. If every wife wanted a divorce when he was quick to get angry or transmitted some words that were spoken between him and his wife, or other mistakes, there would be no household that was not broken up and its members scattered. 

For more information see the answers to questions no 3758 and 12496. 

And Allaah knows best.

Divorcing a wife because of her bad attitude

My brother-in-law had a miserable married life for last two years. his wife used to behave badly with him and the worst thing the girl used to torture /abuse her mother-in-law .
After many tormenting and disgusting discussions the boy,his mother, his father and his sister decided divorce is the only solution and he divorced. Please clarify whether the stance taken was right or not? .

Praise be to Allaah.  

The basic principle concerning divorce is that it is makrooh. This is indicated by the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Those who take an oath not to have sexual relation with their wives must wait for four months, then if they return (change their idea in this period), verily, Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

227. And if they decide upon divorce, then Allaah is All-Hearer, All-Knower”

[al-Baqarah 2:226] 

With regard to the oath not to have sexual relations, Allaah says “Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful”, but with regard to divorce, He says, “All-Hearer, All-Knower”. This contains an element of warning, and this indicates that divorce is makrooh or disliked by Allaah. 

But there may be some situations in which there is no alternative to divorce, and matters may reach a point where divorce becomes essential. In a situation such as that mentioned in the question, divorce is an appropriate solution, because one of the rights that a husband has over his wife is that she should respect his family, especially the husband’s mother. The mother’s rights over a man come before his wife’s rights, so the wife should help her husband to honour his mother. 

The scholars (may Allaah have mercy on them) have stated that divorce is permissible in cases where it is needed because of the wife’s bad attitude and bad conduct and because she is causing too much harm and not doing what she is supposed to do.  

Al-Mughni, 10/324 

And Allaah knows best.

Its the responsibility of every Moslem in learning Quran and tajweed and we also must teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then be aware of the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was vituperated and verity teaching of holy Quran and with Quranic tajweed we read Quran we can understand better all the replies that are necessitated if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know verity substance of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the information of the Holy Scripture with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we continue with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the information of Quran tafseer and one query that we all is required to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad acts to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be answerable to any one after this life of not then the query remains the very same that the reasons why we are here in the world but if yes then whom we have to respond is there any Divine All these response can be found when we go deep in to the Quran education do Quran reading and the so let us unite hands to full fill our job.

 

They committed zina then got married, and they cannot remember if they repented before doing the marriage contract or not; do they have to do a new marriage contract?

I am married, but my husband and I committed zina (fornication). After I read your answer to the question “Effects of marriage that results from an illicit relationship”, waswaas (whispers from the Shaytaan) began to affect me and my husband, because we cannot remember when we repented from this sin and I do not remember whether I menstruated before the marriage contract. All I know is that I was not pregnant. We regret it deeply and we do not know what to do.

Praise be to Allaah.

It is not permissible for the zaani to marry the zaaniyah except after repenting, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“The adulterer — fornicator marries not but an adulteress — fornicatress or a Mushrikah; and the adulteress –fornicatress, none marries her except an adulterer — fornicater or a Mushrik [and that means that the man who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan or idolatress) or a prostitute, then surely, he is either an adulterer — fornicator, or a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater). And the woman who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater) or an adulterer — fornicator, then she is either a prostitute or a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan, or idolatress)]. Such a thing is forbidden to the believers (of Islâmic Monotheism)”

[al-Noor 24:3]. 

If you both repented to Allah before marriage, then your marriage is valid. But if the marriage contract was done before you repented, then this is a matter concerning which the fuqaha’ differed.  

The majority are of the view that the marriage of the zaani and zaaniyah is valid, even if they have not repented. 

The Hanbalis are of the view that the marriage of a zaaniyah is not valid unless she repents, but they did not stipulate that the zaani has to repent in order for the marriage to be valid. Al-Insaaf, 8/132; Kashshaaf al-Qinaa‘, 5/83. 

According to this view, if you repented before the marriage contract, then the marriage is valid, but to be on the safe side you may do a new marriage contract. Repentance means regretting it and resolving not to go back to that sin. If you regretted falling into haraam and resolved to give it up, and got married, then this is repentance on your part. 

With regard to istibra’ (determining that the woman is not pregnant) or ‘iddah, this is also a matter concerning which the fuqaha’ differed. The Hanafis and Shaafa‘is are of the view that it is not necessary. 

What we advise you to do is to do a new marriage contract, without telling the wali the real reason for it. That is in order to be on the safe side. 

How the marriage contract is to be done is that your wali (guardian) should say to your husband in the presence of two witnesses: “I give my daughter or sister So and so in marriage to you”; and your husband should say: “I accept.” 

If it is not possible to do a new marriage contract without telling people of the haraam relationship, then we hope that you do not have to do that, and your marriage remains as it is, based on the majority view that this marriage is valid. 

We ask Allah to set your affairs straight and to accept your repentance. 

And Allah knows best.

She does not have a guardian and the man who wants to marry her is in a different city; how should the marriage be done?

How to Marry some girl that doesnt have a wali if she cant be present at the mosque ( Because we live far away from each other)? do i have to take a paper with me that confirms that she wants to marry me if an imam wants to take the position as a wali? note that the imam never seen ehr and hes not able to.

Praise be to Allaah.

If the girl does not have a guardian, her marriage should be done by the sharee’ah judge. If there is no sharee’ah judge, then her marriage should be done by a man of status among the Muslims, such as the imam of the mosque or Islamic centre, or a well-known scholar. If none of these are available, then her marriage should be done by one of the Muslim men. See the answer to question number 48992. 

In order for the marriage to be valid, it is essential that it be witnessed by two Muslim witnesses, who should testify that the proposal was made by the guardian and the acceptance by the husband, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a guardian and two witnesses of good character.” Narrated by al-Bayhaqi from the hadeeth of ‘Imraan and ‘Aa’ishah; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami, no. 7557. 

If you are in one city and the girl is in another city, and she does not have a guardian as you said, then the way to do the marriage is for her guardian to be one of the people of her city, such as the imam of the mosque or the Islamic centre, as stated above. He should make sure that she wants to get married and that she is pleased with you. Then he should appoint a person to act as his deputy in your city, who can do the marriage contract with you; or the marriage contract can be done between you and him by phone or by a chat program on the Internet, in the presence of witnesses with you or with him who can hear his proposal and your acceptance. 

The correct view is that a marriage done over the phone is permissible when there is certainty that it is free of any deceit. 

We put the following question to Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah be pleased with him): 

I want to do the marriage contract with a girl but her father is in another city, and at present I cannot travel to him in order for us to meet and do the marriage contract, due to financial and other reasons. I am in a foreign  country. Is it permissible for me to contact her father and for him to say to me, “I give my daughter so-and-so to you in marriage” and for me to say “I accept”, and the girl is willing, and there are two Muslim witnesses who can hear my words and his words via loudspeaker on the phone? Is this regarded as a legitimate shar’i marriage contract? He replied that what is mentioned, if it is genuine (and there is no deceit involved), fulfils the conditions of the shar’i marriage contract and the contract is valid. 

See the answer to question number 2201 and 48992. 

And Allaah knows best.

He stipulated that she should look after his father, then he took a second wife and she asked him for separate accommodation and to divide the work with her co-wife

The questioner got married to a woman after explaining to her his father's situation, as his father is sick and needs someone to take care of him. She agreed to that, but now he wants to marry a second wife, but the first wife said: If you take a second wife, then it is my right to ask for separate accommodation and to share the care of your father between us (wives). What is your opinion on that? The questioner is saying: How can she request this when it was stipulated from the beginning that she should take care of his father; in fact he only married her for this purpose and no other?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Allah has enjoined fulfilment of covenants and promises. He says (interpretation of the meaning): “O you who believe! Fulfil (your) obligations” [al-Maa’idah 5:1]. The most important covenant that is to be fulfilled is the marriage contract, whether by the husband or by the wife. It was narrated that ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The condition which most deserves to be fulfilled is that by means of which intimacy becomes permissible for you.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2572) and Muslim (1418). 

Based on that, what is required from the wife is to fulfil the condition that her husband stipulated, which is to serve and take care of his father. It seems to us that the wife has no right to ask him to divide this work between her and her co-wife, because that was not stipulated in the marriage contract; furthermore, she knows that Allah has permitted him to marry another woman, and she did not stipulate that he should not take another wife. 

As for her request for separate accommodation, she has the right to that unless it was stipulated before marriage that she should take care of his father in his house and that she would not have accommodation separate from his father. In that case, she is obliged to adhere to the two conditions regarding accommodation and taking care of the father, and she does not have the right to ask for separate accommodation or for the work to be divided between her and her co-wife, unless the husband doest hat on his own initiative. 

If the wife cannot put up with her new situation, then she has the right to ask for khula’ (a type of divorce), in which she will give up her mahr to her husband and he will divorce her (talaaq). 

For more details on khula’, see the answer to question number 26247. 

We advise the husband to be wise in his conduct and to fear Allah with regard to his first wife; she has accepted him as a husband and has agreed to serve his sick father. It is not right to respond to that by bringing in a co-wife who will not share the work with her and will have advantages over her which will cause him distress in his life and cause him trouble. 

We are not trying to forbid that which Allah has permitted of plural marriage; but we are aware that part of good attitude on the man’s part is responding in kind to the one who has been kind to him in word and in deed. We do not think that the husband’s insisting on not making his second wife share the work of caring for his father is a good way of responding to his first wife’s good conduct. He should stipulate for the second wife what he stipulated for the first; that is what is fair and wise. 

Whatever the case: 

We think that this wife should adhere to the conditions of marriage that were stipulated for her, but she has the right to ask for khula’ if she fears that she will not be able to fulfil the conditions or fulfil her duties towards her husband. But we think that the husband should do the right thing to get out of this situation, which is stipulating for the second wife what he stipulated for the first of caring for his father. If the marriage contract has been done without that, then he has to deal with her kindly and ask her to serve his father and look after him, working with his first wife. 

And Allah knows best.

Is it acceptable to stipulate a condition in the marriage contract that her husband should not inherit from her if she dies?

If a wealthy widow with children decides to remarry, can she put a clause in the marriage contract saying that after her death only her children will inherit from her and her new husband will give up any inheritance rights?

Praise be to Allaah.

The basic principle with regard to contracts and conditions is that they are permissible and valid, and none of them are haraam or invalid except that which is contrary to sharee‘ah. 

Stipulating that the husband should be deprived of inheriting in the event of the wife’s death is a condition that is contrary to sharee‘ah, because it is cancelling out the right of the husband that Allah granted him to a share of his wife’s wealth in the event of her death. 

Al-Bukhaari and Muslim (1504) narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) that she said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “What is the matter with people who stipulate conditions that are not in the Book of Allaah? There is no condition that is not in the Book of Allaah but it is invalid, even if there are one hundred conditions. The Book of Allaah is more deserving of being followed and the conditions of Allaah are more binding.” 

Al-Qurtubi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 

i.e., conditions that are not acceptable according to sharee‘ah are invalid even if they are many. 

 

End quote from Fath al-Baari, 5/189 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 

Whoever stipulates conditions in a waqf, manumission, a gift, a sale, a marriage contract, rental, vow and so on that is contrary to what Allah has decreed for His slaves in that those conditions enjoin something that Allah has forbidden or forbid something that Allah has enjoined, or they permit something that He has prohibited or prohibit something that He has permitted, then these conditions are invalid according to the consensus of the Muslims of all eras. 

End quote from Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa, 31/28 

He also said: 

If a condition is contrary to the conditions of Allah and His Messenger, it is invalid, such as if he stipulates that his son or his relatives should not inherit from him, or that he should help him in everything he wants and support him against everyone who opposes him whether he is in the right or otherwise, or that he should obey him in everything he tells him to do, and other such conditions. 

And when such conditions are made, then one should fulfil the part of it (the contract) that is in accordance with the commands of Allah and His Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), and he should not fulfil the part that is contrary to that. This is agreed upon among the Muslims. 

End quote from Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa, 35/97 

And Allah knows best.

Islam Q&A